Wednesday 21 January 2015

Author's Note

Hi All,

I am very sorry to have to write this but I will no longer be posting. I hate that I wasn't able to keep the blog going because I really enjoy writing but things in my personal life have started to unravel. I just found out that someone in my immediate family has been diagnosed with stage 2 (critical)  Hodgkins Lympoma. It's a very difficult time and I have had to take a leave of absence from work so I can go back to Ontario (where I am originally from) to spend time with my family. Again, I do apologize and as much as I would like to just take a hiatus and return, I do not know what the future holds at this point. I hope you can understand and thank you so much for all the support you've given the blog in the short period it's been up.

- S xo

Friday 16 January 2015

Thanksgiving Part 1

The rest of the weekend went by fast, and there a tense feeling ever since Matt’s phone call. Not a tension between the 2 of us, but he just seemed distracted over the whole thing.

After Brian came to pick up Bella on Sunday (which almost made me cry because I absolutely loved having her for the weekend) I started getting my stuff together to head back to my apartment.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” He asked, watching me from his doorframe as I put the last of my clothes in my overnight bag.

“I would love to but I don’t want to be getting back too late and should tidy up the apartment a bit.”

He sighed and pulled me into him as I got up.

“I had a good time this weekend” He said, looking softly into my eyes.

“I did too,” I fumbled, trying to offer him some advice over his mom. “Look, you’ve seemed kinda off since that whole call about your mom, and I don’t know what to say and I am not going to tell you what to do, but if your feeling this uneasy over it, maybe you should go and see her? You don’t necessarily have to give her any money or anything, but it might make you feel better?”

He smiled widely and I was confused.

“You are amazing, and thank you for being so concerned. It’s just tough you know? As much as I hate everything she’s done, she is still my mother I don’t know if I will be able to wash my hands with her like Nathan did…”

I gave his hands a squeeze, “You don’t have to do anything your not comfortable with. Maybe talk to your brother? It might help getting his input.”

“That’s actually a good idea, I have to call him anyways about Thanksgiving so I’ll tell him all about what’s going on.”

We had a quick goodbye and I headed back home.

I put all my energy into practice and school work that week, and before I knew it I was pulling into my parents driveway for Thanksgiving.

I hadn’t seen Matt all week other than in class and for a quick dinner on Tuesday but I was seeing him Sunday and was really excited and nervous to meet his brother.

When I walked through the front door I was immediately pounced on and all I could hear was shrieking and laughing.
“YOUR HOME!” Katelyn squealed.

“Oh my god! What are you doing here?! I was planning on coming by your place tomorrow but this is such a good surprise.” I said excitedly.

“Well hey there stranger! We thought it would be nice for Katie to be here for when you got home, the family isn’t coming over until tomorrow so you two can have a little girls night” My mom said as she appeared from the living room with a bright smile on her face.

I was so happy and touched that they planned this. My mom knows how stressed I get with school and how worn out I usually am right around midterms so she knew this would mean a lot to me.

After getting mauled by Katelyn, I ran over and embraced my mom in a big hug.

“Thank you. This is so awesome.” I said into her coconut-smelling hair while she hugged me tightly.

“You are more than welcome sweetheart. Although I can’t say it was totally self-less, I wanted to see my second daughter!” She said and winked over at Kate, who smiled.

She looked ten times better than the last time I’d seen her and had put a little weight back on, she was looking way more like herself.

I eyed the two of them suspiciously and smiled, “Exactly how long have you been here Kate?”

She just laughed “Umm, since about noon?” looking over at my mom, “Don’t look at us like that, you know half the reason I love you so much is cuz of your family” She said, still giggling.

My mom wrapped around both of us, “I am just so happy to have both of my girls here! Now, Daddy and I are going to Pam and John’s for dinner so I’ve made sure you are fully stocked with junk food and chick flicks.” She said.

After chit chatting with my parents for a bit, they headed out for dinner and left Kate and I to our girl’s night.

We spent the next 6 hours just talking, eating, laughing and catching up. She told me some funny stories about the rehab center, saying it made it less depressing when there was something to laugh about.

We only had the one night to hang out together because we were both busy with family stuff the rest of the weekend and I was heading out fairly early on Sunday to make sure I was back in time to go to Matt’s brother’s.
Katelyn slept over and we watched Friends until falling asleep, just like we used to whenever we had a sleepover.

The next morning Kate left pretty early to get back for her family’s Thanksgiving brunch, and I puttered around with my mom until our guests arrived.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful but peaceful at the same time. It reminded me how much I miss being home and around my family. I was pretty bummed when I pulled out of the driveway on Sunday morning but I was also excited to see Matt and meet his brother.

I drove straight to Matt’s house and pulled up around 3:00 – I thought I would be a little earlier but I stopped at a bakery and bought a tray of mini desserts to bring to his brother’s house.

“Hey you!” Matt greeted warmly when I knocked on his door. “And I told you that you didn’t need to bring anything” seeing what I was holding.

“I know but I wanted to.” I said with a smile.

We hit the road right away since we knew there would be heavy traffic because of the long weekend.

We pulled up to a cute house with several cars in the driveway and walked up to the front door.

When the door opened, it was like I was seeing Matt in a few years with more scruff and longer hair.

“Matty boy!” He said loudly and pulled Matt into a “bro-hug”. “And you must be Sarah, I’m Nathan come on in!” He said kindly to me as he shook my hand. He instantly put me at ease with his warmness and I could tell him and Matt were very similar.

He thanked me for bringing the desserts and introduced me to his wife, Lauren. She had a striking resemblance to Kristen Bell, just like a tiny cute mini Barbie. She was so welcoming and just like Matt had suspected, we hit it off right away and spent a few hours chatting and getting to know eachother as some more people came in and socialized.

I was surprised at how comfortable I felt since big crowds where I don’t know anyone usually stress me out.

There was about 10 of us in total for dinner and we sat in their massive dining room. The dinner was amazing and I even surprised myself with how much I ate but I couldn’t help it – Lauren had made one of the best home made meals I had ever eaten.

After dinner Lauren was cleaning up and I got up to help while to guys went downstairs to watch football.

“Seriously, sit down, you are a guest!” She protested me helping with the dishes.

“Trust me I’d much rather do this than hear a bunch of guys talk about football” I joked.

She washed while I dried and I complimented her cooking and she offered to show me a few things.

“That would be awesome! I’m so useless at cooking.” I said, not even joking.

“Matt really likes you a lot by the way, I can tell. He hasn’t brought many girlfriends around and he definitely looks at you differently and acts different too, in a good way.” She said while grinning.

“Really?” I was surprised.

“Yep! The only girl I think I’ve met more than a few times is that friend Kim of his.” She said with a slight edge in her tone, which I found odd considering how bubbly she had been all night.

I wanted to know her opinion of her but treaded carefully, “Oh yeah,  she’s hung out with us a few times…” I trailed.

She stopped doing the dishes and turned around as if to check if anyone else was in hearing range.

“Okay, just between the two of us, there’s something about her that’s off.” She said with a serious look on her face.

“Okay, so I’m not crazy! I don’t get why Matt is such good friends with her! But I don’t want to say anything or else I’ll look like a psycho girlfriend!” I said in a whisper.

“No, your not crazy, okay don’t say anything to Matt but the last time I saw her – “

Just then Nathan hollered for Lauren

“LAUR! HUN! Come down for a sec! Grab Sarah, you guys gotta see this video!” He yelled from downstairs and holding back laughter.

She rolled her eyes and smiled, “Let’s finish this conversation later okay?” She said and we went downstairs to see the guys.

I didn’t get a chance to talk to Lauren one on one the rest of the night, which made me even more anxious about what she was going to tell me about Kim, but she gave me her number while we were leaving and told me to text her when I wanted to do a cooking lesson.

On the way back, I was pretty quiet, while my mind ran non-stop. As he was driving, I kept thinking,

Should I talk to Matt about how I feel about her and the vibe I’m getting or just drop it all together?



Sunday 11 January 2015

Bonus Post!

Once we were back at Matt’s and had put in our order for Thai food I changed into leggings and an oversized sweater (a key outfit for a cozy night in). As I was walking back down the stairs I saw Matt on the floor with Bella giving her a belly rub and it made me smile.
“Now whose gunna have the problem when we have to give her back?” I asked playfully.
He jumped when he heard me and started laughing, “I didn’t know you were watching”
I giggled, “I’m gunna give Bell her dinner now” I said as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed her kibble and bowl from the bag Brian left.
Matt got up and came into the kitchen as well as Bella when she heard the sound of her kibble hitting her bowl.
“Want something to drink?” He asked, going over to his cupboard with the glasses.
“God yes!” I laughed, “I could use a stiff drink to unwind from school” I explained.
Matt laughed at my enthusiasm, “Alrighty I think I’ll make you my specialty then!”
“What’s your specialty?” I asked curiously.
“Well it’s pretty much straight booze so you can either drink it like a shooter or sip it like you would scotch…” He trailed off as he started going through his cabinets and pulling out bottles and a martini shaker.
“That sounds intense,” I giggled, “but I’ll try it! I’ll have it as a sipper please.”
“Yes ma’am” he answered and grabbed 2 small cocktail glasses.
He handed me the amber colored drink with a few ice cubes and waited for my reaction as I took a small sip. It was strong, but did have a nice flavor considering it was basically pure alcohol.
“That’s actually pretty good” I said taking another sip.
Matt smiled, “You sound so surprised! Do you really think I’d make you something gross?”
I laughed, “No you’re right. What’s in it?” The second sip was even better and I couldn’t make out what was in it, it was cinnamon-y and sweet, but not overly.
“I’m glad you like it, just drink slow because they are killer” He said, taking a small sip of his own. “It’s actually really easy and only 3 ingredients – 1 shot patron tequila, 1 shot Fireball whiskey, and then just about a teaspoon or so of grenadine.”
“Explains the cinnamon taste!” I said, more to myself than Matt.
Our food arrived shortly after we finished our first drink and we settled on the couch with our full plates, ready to pick a movie. Bella followed us into the basement but just lay down beside the couch and didn’t beg for food once. That didn’t really surprise me considering she was around food all the time when Brian brought her into Tom’s.
After eating, Matt paused the movie to put the plates upstairs and get us both a glass of wine. When he walked up, my phone buzzed. I looked at the screen and it was a Snapchat notification. Usually I don’t bother opening them but I was killing time while Matt was upstairs so I unlocked my phone and opened the app.
It was from Amy, on our track team and I smiled hugely when I saw the picture. It was a selfie of her giving a kiss on the cheek to Adam, while he was smiling! This made me so happy because I knew Adam had a thing for Amy forever but was always too shy to say anything.
I was surprised that Adam hadn’t mentioned anything so I texted him,
S: Ummm, just saw Amy’s snapchat and almost squealed from excitement lol  what’s up?!
Just then, Matt walked back downstairs with 2 glasses of red wine.
“Ahhh thank you, you’re the best!” I said.
He chuckled, “Is that all it takes is bringing you wine and food?”
I playfully swatted him, “Not what I meant! You’ve been so patient these last 2 weeks with my schedule and today was really nice. And what you did for Bella coming and stuff, it was really sweet.” I said smiling at him, “But yes the wine and food always gets you brownie points.”
He laughed and kissed me on the forehead, “Your welcome, I think it’s actually pretty cool how dedicated you are to school, most of my friends throughout college just scraped by enough to graduate.”
“Yeah I know a lot of people like that but I just can’t grasp that way of thinking. The way I see it, I worked my ass off to get the grades to get in and to get some scholarships so I can’t just let it go to waste.”
Matt opened his mouth to speak but his phone started going off on the table. I could see the screen it was an unknown number.
“Sorry…” he said as he answered it.
“Hello?”
“Speaking” pause “Ugh yeah I’ll accept.”
He started walking upstairs and I couldn’t really hear anything anymore. I didn’t really think anything of it so I just checked my phone while I waited.
Adam had answered me,
A: Haha I was gunna talk to you at practice this week. We kinda hooked up on Halloween and have been hanging out since..
I was so excited for him!
S: That is so awesome!! Okay we have to catch up at practice for sure, I’ll see you this week!
Just then Matt came walking back down the stairs and he did not look happy.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
He sighed, “That was my mom, she was arrested and they’re holding her at the jail and are going to transport her to Nebraska State Penitentiary if she doesn’t pay her bail.”
“Oh…what was she arrested for?”
“Dealing. Her and James have done it to make money on and off over the last 5 years. I guess the cops have been watching them and got a warrant to search their car and my mom was alone when they did it so they only arrested her.” He explained, sounding tired like he had been through this more than once.
He continued, “She’s been trying to get a hold of James but can’t so that’s why she called me, she knows Nathan wouldn’t bail her out, he cut ties with her years ago.”
“How much does she need?” I asked.
“They set the bail at $5,000.”
“Wow,” It was all I could think of saying, all this information just came flooding in and I wasn’t used to being in these kinds of situations.  “What are you going to do?”
“Well I can either send it and leave it at that, go looking for James, or just act like she never called…” He said.
I really didn’t think going to look for James was a good idea, the guy seemed like bad news, and obviously violent after what he did to Matt’s truck. I also didn’t think it was fair of her to even ask him for the money after the way she’s treated him over the years.
I didn’t want to overstep, so I just tried to get a feel for what way he was leaning towards.
“Matt, you shouldn’t feel guilty for the things they have done, it’s not your responsibility what they do. But I understand that family is important so just do what feels right to you.” I said as I linked my hand in his.
“They aren’t family, family doesn’t treat people this way. Maybe it’s time she actually faces the consequences of her actions. I’ve always been there to bail them out and Nathan gets pissed because he knows they think they can just do whatever they want and I will come to their rescue.” He shook his head, “But I’m sick of it. She can either hope that James shows up with $5,000 by tomorrow or she can deal with going to prison. I’m done.” He slouched back into the couch and put his arm around me.
“Are you sure?” I asked, feeling he was still tense.
“I am. I need to do what Nathan did years ago. I’m tired of them trying to control my life. I want to enjoy the rest of the weekend with you.” He said, looking a lot softer in the eyes.
I smiled at him and moved back into him like we were watching the movie before.
He pressed play and acted like everything was normal but I had a feeling that it wasn’t and that this was bothering him a lot more than he was saying.

Friday 9 January 2015

Start of a great weekend



 
*Author’s Note: Thank you all for your patience, if you didn’t see, please read my last author’s note. Also, I really appreciate your feedback and thoughts on the timing. I am going to continue on and slowly catch up as that’s what most people suggested. This also works well because Life by Aleah is planning on being up to real time by the end of the month, so it’s best if we are both on the same timeline. In order to catch up I will be adding in some bonus posts! Next post will be up by Sunday night! Have a fabulous weekend readers!!! – S xo*
By the time Friday rolled around, I was feeling way more myself, and I was also really excited that it was the weekend. I had deliberately left my laptop at my apartment before leaving for Matt’s so I could totally unplug and just relax without stressing about school work.
I had offered to pick up Bella on my way over to Matt’s but Brian insisted that he drop her off since we were already watching her for him. I had given him Matt’s address and his cell phone just in case he beat me there or got lost.
I knocked on the door when I got there and Matt answered the door right away with a big smile on his face. I mirrored his smile as he pulled me by the waist and kissed me deeply on the lips.

“Hello my beautiful girlfriend who’s been a stranger these last few weeks.” Matt said teasingly as he pulled away with a soft smile.

“I know, I’m so sorry it’s been so hectic lately, but I’ve been looking forward to this weekend! No school work, no stress, just us!” I smiled back and pecked him on the lips.

“I’m just buggin ya I know how it goes with school, I’m just happy you’re here now.” He said and started kissing me again, pushing my back against the door as it closed.

I started slipping off my clogs as Matt slid his hand up my jacket and under my sweater.

We were just getting into it when I was startled at a knock on the other side of the door (and at the same time relieved that it was a solid door and not one with a window).

“That must be Brian!” I said as I stood back so Matt could open the door.
He introduced himself to Brian right away and shook his hand. I was already kneeling on the floor petting Bella.

“Are you excited for your weekend?” I asked brightly to Brian.

“Oh yes, it will be nice to get out of town, do something different you know?” He chuckled, “I’m kinda nervous though, it’s like dating all over again, I don’t know how you kids do it.”

Matt put his arm around my shoulders, “Yeah, it’s a tough game out there. I’m glad I caught me a good one.” He said teasingly as he nudged me.
I rolled my eyes and laughed.
“Well as much as I’d love to stay and chat I’ve got a long drive ahead of me. Here is the phone number of the place we are staying at if you need to call.” He said, handing me a large yellow sticky note with the information on it. He also handed me a bag with Bella’s food, dish, and one of her favourite toys. I told Brian we had everything else covered and we already went over her eating schedule.
“Thanks! Everything will be great, we’re so excited to have Bella! I hope you and Catherine have a great time!” I said.
“Thank you. And thank you again so much for taking Bell, it would kill me putting her in a kennel and she loves you. I’ll see you Sunday evening to pick her up.” He said as he stepped out the front door.
"Sounds good, see ya!” I said.
“Bye! It was nice meeting you!” Matt said as he shook Brian’s hand again.
“You too, really good to meet you. See you guys Sunday!” He said, walking down the steps to his truck.
Matt shut the door and I was already showing Bella her little set up that Matt put together so she knew where the water was and her bed for the weekend. She didn’t seem out of sorts at all and was already curiously nosing through the toys Matt had put with her bed.
“She’s a beautiful dog” He said, as we both stood back and let her sniff around the house.
“Yeah, she really is. And such a kind heart, I seriously love this dog.” I said back.
Matt laughed, “Are we gunna have a problem when it’s time to give her back?”
I half-pouted, half-laughed, “Maybe.”
We decided we would take Bella to an off leash dog park about 15 minutes away and then decide what we were going to do for dinner.
I knew she was great off leash and with other dogs so I thought she would have fun going to the park. Plus with Brian’s age he didn’t get the change to take her on longer runs, just short walks around the neighbourhood.
We stopped at a Starbucks to get coffee for the walk. Well, I got a coffee and Matt got a white chocolate mocha.
“I don’t know how you drink that, it’s so sweet!” I said as a wrinkled my nose after trying a sip of his.
He just laughed, “Yeah, they’re sweet but I usually only get one twice or three times a year, just to have something different.”
When we parked at the dog park there were quite a few other vehicles there so it must be a fairly popular spot. Bella immediately started getting antsy when we stopped, but she didn’t do it at Starbucks – it’s like she knew she was coming out with us this time.
She was wiggling and whining and wagging her tail and it made me laugh at how excited she was.
“Hang on baby girl, I gotta put your leash on until we are out of the parking lot” I said to her as I clipped the leash to her bright pink collar.
We got out and started walking towards the entrance which had a fence along the side. The whole park wasn’t fenced because it was massive but the side that ran along the parking lot was fenced.
Once we got in I let her off and watch her take off like the wind towards a big group of dogs all playing together.
We kept walking and Matt held my hand with his free one. It was a little chilly out so it was nice to have the warmth.
“So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” I asked casually, and then immediately regretted it, thinking of his family situation. I would imagine holidays are a hard time for him since everyone spends it with family.
“Probably just stay in town. I might catch up on some marking. My brother invited me to go to his new place but they’re not doing a big dinner until Sunday cuz they’re spending the rest of the weekend with his wife’s family.”
“Oh, I didn’t know your brother was married!” I said surprised, not like I should be because he hasn’t talked much more about his family other than when he explained everything.
He smiled, “Yeah, that’s why I haven’t seen much of him lately, they just got married in the summer so they’re still in the honeymoon phase.” He laughed, “Are you going back home for Thanksgiving?” He asked.
“Yep! Kate called and told me she’s going home too! She’s doing really great in rehab and they think it will be good, her parents will keep an eye and she’s not going out to any party’s or anything.” I explained.
“That’s great! I’m sure she will love a weekend at home and to see you.”
I contemplated inviting him home with me but I thought it was a little too soon to invite him for the whole weekend. Plus, I knew my brothers would grill him with questions and I didn’t want to put him on the spot in front of the whole family at Thanksgiving.
“Yeah, it will be nice. A little exhausting with my family but I love them anyways.” I said smiling.
I could see Bella playing and running around with a Golden Retriever as we walked closer to the group of dogs.
“If your back Sunday why don’t you come to my brothers with me? You and his wife Lauren would get along great!” He said.
“Well I will be back early afternoon on Sunday but I wouldn’t want to impose, you just said you don’t get to see him much…”
“It wouldn’t be imposing at all! Nathan is the type that loves entertaining big groups, the more the merrier type person. Plus there will be some of their friends over and they said they invited 2 of their new neighbours.”
Even though I had just squashed the idea in my head of inviting him home, I was really excited that he asked me and curious to meet his brother. (Plus a whole weekend with the entire family is way more intense than a dinner with just his brother and friends)
I smiled widely, “Okay, I’m convinced, that sounds awesome!”
"Great! I will let him know.” He bent over and kissed me on the cheek and I blushed.
We continued walking at a slow pace, letting Bella play with some more dogs before turning around and heading back to the truck.
My stomach grumbled just as we hopped in.
Matt laughed, “Someone’s hungry, I guess we better figure out dinner!”
I laughed too, “Sorry, my stomach feels the need to inform everyone when I am starving.”
“Hmm, well we could run to the store and get some stuff to make at my place or order in? Your choice.” Matt said.
“After the last couple weeks of running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off I could totally go for a big-totally-unhealthy-going-to-regret-it-later meal!” I answered.
He laughed again, “Alright let’s head back, start thinking of where we can order!”
I tried thinking of what I wanted but I couldn’t help but think of how excited I was for Thanksgiving weekend, seeing my family, friends, and now getting to meet Matt’s brother! I think it’s going to be interesting…

Tuesday 6 January 2015

Sorry sorry sorry!

Hi Everyone,

I owe a big apology for not getting the bonus up and for being absent. Long story short, the holidays were extremely stressful and pretty much a nightmare :( I know that I haven't had a steady writing schedule but that's something I really want to improve on. Also, I know I am quite behind time wise and want to catch up so I need your opinion!
To get up to current time would you guys prefer:
-  I just jump ahead on my next post (kinda like in One Tree Hill where they jumped a few years, except in this case it's only a few months ;))
- Over the next few posts do a lot of fast tracking
- Continue on and just slowly catch up
- Try to get a few posts up this week/next week and motor on with the story line

Once I get some feedback I will have a post up - this week for sure!

I really appreciate the feedback and it matters, since you are the one's I write for.

Please let me know, and again sorry for being absent lately!

- S xo