Hi All,
I am very sorry to have to write this but I will no longer be posting. I hate that I wasn't able to keep the blog going because I really enjoy writing but things in my personal life have started to unravel. I just found out that someone in my immediate family has been diagnosed with stage 2 (critical) Hodgkins Lympoma. It's a very difficult time and I have had to take a leave of absence from work so I can go back to Ontario (where I am originally from) to spend time with my family. Again, I do apologize and as much as I would like to just take a hiatus and return, I do not know what the future holds at this point. I hope you can understand and thank you so much for all the support you've given the blog in the short period it's been up.
- S xo
Life by Sarah
Wednesday, 21 January 2015
Friday, 16 January 2015
Thanksgiving Part 1
The rest of the weekend went by fast, and there a tense
feeling ever since Matt’s phone call. Not a tension between the 2 of us, but he
just seemed distracted over the whole thing.
After Brian came to pick up Bella on Sunday (which almost
made me cry because I absolutely loved having her for the weekend) I started
getting my stuff together to head back to my apartment.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” He asked,
watching me from his doorframe as I put the last of my clothes in my overnight
bag.
“I would love to but I don’t want to be getting back too
late and should tidy up the apartment a bit.”
He sighed and pulled me into him as I got up.
“I had a good time this weekend” He said, looking softly
into my eyes.
“I did too,” I fumbled, trying to offer him some advice over
his mom. “Look, you’ve seemed kinda off since that whole call about your mom,
and I don’t know what to say and I am not going to tell you what to do, but if
your feeling this uneasy over it, maybe you should go and see her? You don’t
necessarily have to give her any money or anything, but it might make you feel
better?”
He smiled widely and I was confused.
“You are amazing, and thank you for being so concerned. It’s
just tough you know? As much as I hate everything she’s done, she is still my
mother I don’t know if I will be able to wash my hands with her like Nathan
did…”
I gave his hands a squeeze, “You don’t have to do anything
your not comfortable with. Maybe talk to your brother? It might help getting
his input.”
“That’s actually a good idea, I have to call him anyways
about Thanksgiving so I’ll tell him all about what’s going on.”
We had a quick goodbye and I headed back home.
I put all my energy into practice and school work that week,
and before I knew it I was pulling into my parents driveway for Thanksgiving.
I hadn’t seen Matt all week other than in class and for a
quick dinner on Tuesday but I was seeing him Sunday and was really excited and
nervous to meet his brother.
When I walked through the front door I was immediately
pounced on and all I could hear was shrieking and laughing.
“YOUR HOME!” Katelyn squealed.
“Oh my god! What are you doing here?! I was planning on
coming by your place tomorrow but this is such a good surprise.” I said
excitedly.
“Well hey there stranger! We thought it would be nice for
Katie to be here for when you got home, the family isn’t coming over until
tomorrow so you two can have a little girls night” My mom said as she appeared
from the living room with a bright smile on her face.
I was so happy and touched that they planned this. My mom
knows how stressed I get with school and how worn out I usually am right around
midterms so she knew this would mean a lot to me.
After getting mauled by Katelyn, I ran over and embraced my
mom in a big hug.
“Thank you. This is so awesome.” I said into her
coconut-smelling hair while she hugged me tightly.
“You are more than welcome sweetheart. Although I can’t say
it was totally self-less, I wanted to see my second daughter!” She said and
winked over at Kate, who smiled.
She looked ten times better than the last time I’d seen her
and had put a little weight back on, she was looking way more like herself.
I eyed the two of them suspiciously and smiled, “Exactly how
long have you been here Kate?”
She just laughed “Umm, since about noon?” looking over at my
mom, “Don’t look at us like that, you know half the reason I love you so much
is cuz of your family” She said, still giggling.
My mom wrapped around both of us, “I am just so happy to
have both of my girls here! Now, Daddy and I are going to Pam and John’s for
dinner so I’ve made sure you are fully stocked with junk food and chick
flicks.” She said.
After chit chatting with my parents for a bit, they headed
out for dinner and left Kate and I to our girl’s night.
We spent the next 6 hours just talking, eating, laughing and
catching up. She told me some funny stories about the rehab center, saying it
made it less depressing when there was something to laugh about.
We only had the one night to hang out together because we
were both busy with family stuff the rest of the weekend and I was heading out
fairly early on Sunday to make sure I was back in time to go to Matt’s
brother’s.
Katelyn slept over and we watched Friends until falling
asleep, just like we used to whenever we had a sleepover.
The next morning Kate left pretty early to get back for her
family’s Thanksgiving brunch, and I puttered around with my mom until our
guests arrived.
The rest of the weekend was uneventful but peaceful at the
same time. It reminded me how much I miss being home and around my family. I
was pretty bummed when I pulled out of the driveway on Sunday morning but I was
also excited to see Matt and meet his brother.
I drove straight to Matt’s house and pulled up around 3:00 –
I thought I would be a little earlier but I stopped at a bakery and bought a
tray of mini desserts to bring to his brother’s house.
“Hey you!” Matt greeted warmly when I knocked on his door.
“And I told you that you didn’t need to bring anything” seeing what I was
holding.
“I know but I wanted to.” I said with a smile.
We hit the road right away since we knew there would be
heavy traffic because of the long weekend.
We pulled up to a cute house with several cars in the driveway
and walked up to the front door.
When the door opened, it was like I was seeing Matt in a few
years with more scruff and longer hair.
“Matty boy!” He said loudly and pulled Matt into a
“bro-hug”. “And you must be Sarah, I’m Nathan come on in!” He said kindly to me
as he shook my hand. He instantly put me at ease with his warmness and I could
tell him and Matt were very similar.
He thanked me for bringing the desserts and introduced me to
his wife, Lauren. She had a striking resemblance to Kristen Bell, just like a
tiny cute mini Barbie. She was so welcoming and just like Matt had suspected,
we hit it off right away and spent a few hours chatting and getting to know
eachother as some more people came in and socialized.
I was surprised at how comfortable I felt since big crowds
where I don’t know anyone usually stress me out.
There was about 10 of us in total for dinner and we sat in
their massive dining room. The dinner was amazing and I even surprised myself
with how much I ate but I couldn’t help it – Lauren had made one of the best
home made meals I had ever eaten.
After dinner Lauren was cleaning up and I got up to help
while to guys went downstairs to watch football.
“Seriously, sit down, you are a guest!” She protested me
helping with the dishes.
“Trust me I’d much rather do this than hear a bunch of guys
talk about football” I joked.
She washed while I dried and I complimented her cooking and
she offered to show me a few things.
“That would be awesome! I’m so useless at cooking.” I said, not
even joking.
“Matt really likes you a lot by the way, I can tell. He
hasn’t brought many girlfriends around and he definitely looks at you
differently and acts different too, in a good way.” She said while grinning.
“Really?” I was surprised.
“Yep! The only girl I think I’ve met more than a few times
is that friend Kim of his.” She said with a slight edge in her tone, which I
found odd considering how bubbly she had been all night.
I wanted to know her opinion of her but treaded carefully,
“Oh yeah, she’s hung out with us a few
times…” I trailed.
She stopped doing the dishes and turned around as if to
check if anyone else was in hearing range.
“Okay, just between the two of us, there’s something about
her that’s off.” She said with a serious look on her face.
“Okay, so I’m not crazy! I don’t get why Matt is such good
friends with her! But I don’t want to say anything or else I’ll look like a
psycho girlfriend!” I said in a whisper.
“No, your not crazy, okay don’t say anything to Matt but the
last time I saw her – “
Just then Nathan hollered for Lauren
“LAUR! HUN! Come down for a sec! Grab Sarah, you guys gotta
see this video!” He yelled from downstairs and holding back laughter.
She rolled her eyes and smiled, “Let’s finish this
conversation later okay?” She said and we went downstairs to see the guys.
I didn’t get a chance to talk to Lauren one on one the rest
of the night, which made me even more anxious about what she was going to tell
me about Kim, but she gave me her number while we were leaving and told me to
text her when I wanted to do a cooking lesson.
On the way back, I was pretty quiet, while my mind ran non-stop.
As he was driving, I kept thinking,
Should I talk to Matt
about how I feel about her and the vibe I’m getting or just drop it all
together?
Sunday, 11 January 2015
Bonus Post!
Once we were back
at Matt’s and had put in our order for Thai food I changed into leggings and an
oversized sweater (a key outfit for a cozy night in). As I was walking back
down the stairs I saw Matt on the floor with Bella giving her a belly rub and
it made me smile.
“Now whose gunna
have the problem when we have to give her back?” I asked playfully.
He jumped when he
heard me and started laughing, “I didn’t know you were watching”
I giggled, “I’m
gunna give Bell her dinner now” I said as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed
her kibble and bowl from the bag Brian left.
Matt got up and
came into the kitchen as well as Bella when she heard the sound of her kibble
hitting her bowl.
“Want something to
drink?” He asked, going over to his cupboard with the glasses.
“God yes!” I
laughed, “I could use a stiff drink to unwind from school” I explained.
Matt laughed at my
enthusiasm, “Alrighty I think I’ll make you my specialty then!”
“What’s your
specialty?” I asked curiously.
“Well it’s pretty
much straight booze so you can either drink it like a shooter or sip it like
you would scotch…” He trailed off as he started going through his cabinets and
pulling out bottles and a martini shaker.
“That sounds
intense,” I giggled, “but I’ll try it! I’ll have it as a sipper please.”
“Yes ma’am” he
answered and grabbed 2 small cocktail glasses.
He handed me the
amber colored drink with a few ice cubes and waited for my reaction as I took a
small sip. It was strong, but did have a nice flavor considering it was
basically pure alcohol.
“That’s actually
pretty good” I said taking another sip.
Matt smiled, “You
sound so surprised! Do you really think I’d make you something gross?”
I laughed, “No
you’re right. What’s in it?” The second sip was even better and I couldn’t make
out what was in it, it was cinnamon-y and sweet, but not overly.
“I’m glad you like
it, just drink slow because they are killer” He said, taking a small sip of his
own. “It’s actually really easy and only 3 ingredients – 1 shot patron tequila,
1 shot Fireball whiskey, and then just about a teaspoon or so of grenadine.”
“Explains the
cinnamon taste!” I said, more to myself than Matt.
Our food arrived
shortly after we finished our first drink and we settled on the couch with our
full plates, ready to pick a movie. Bella followed us into the basement but
just lay down beside the couch and didn’t beg for food once. That didn’t really
surprise me considering she was around food all the time when Brian brought her
into Tom’s.
After eating, Matt
paused the movie to put the plates upstairs and get us both a glass of wine.
When he walked up, my phone buzzed. I looked at the screen and it was a
Snapchat notification. Usually I don’t bother opening them but I was killing
time while Matt was upstairs so I unlocked my phone and opened the app.
It was from Amy,
on our track team and I smiled hugely when I saw the picture. It was a selfie
of her giving a kiss on the cheek to Adam, while he was smiling! This made me
so happy because I knew Adam had a thing for Amy forever but was always too shy
to say anything.
I was surprised
that Adam hadn’t mentioned anything so I texted him,
S: Ummm, just saw Amy’s snapchat and almost squealed from excitement
lol what’s up?!
Just then, Matt
walked back downstairs with 2 glasses of red wine.
“Ahhh thank you,
you’re the best!” I said.
He chuckled, “Is
that all it takes is bringing you wine and food?”
I playfully
swatted him, “Not what I meant! You’ve been so patient these last 2 weeks with
my schedule and today was really nice. And what you did for Bella coming and
stuff, it was really sweet.” I said smiling at him, “But yes the wine and food
always gets you brownie points.”
He laughed and
kissed me on the forehead, “Your welcome, I think it’s actually pretty cool how
dedicated you are to school, most of my friends throughout college just scraped
by enough to graduate.”
“Yeah I know a lot
of people like that but I just can’t grasp that way of thinking. The way I see
it, I worked my ass off to get the grades to get in and to get some
scholarships so I can’t just let it go to waste.”
Matt opened his
mouth to speak but his phone started going off on the table. I could see the
screen it was an unknown number.
“Sorry…” he said
as he answered it.
“Hello?”
“Speaking” pause
“Ugh yeah I’ll accept.”
He started walking
upstairs and I couldn’t really hear anything anymore. I didn’t really think
anything of it so I just checked my phone while I waited.
Adam had answered
me,
A: Haha I was gunna talk to you at practice this week. We kinda
hooked up on Halloween and have been hanging out since..
I was so excited
for him!
S: That is so awesome!! Okay we have to catch up at practice for
sure, I’ll see you this week!
Just then Matt
came walking back down the stairs and he did not look happy.
“What’s going on?”
I asked.
He sighed, “That
was my mom, she was arrested and they’re holding her at the jail and are going
to transport her to Nebraska State Penitentiary if she doesn’t pay her bail.”
“Oh…what was she
arrested for?”
“Dealing. Her and James have done it to make money on and off over the last 5 years. I guess the cops have been watching them and got a warrant to search their car and my mom was alone when they did it so they only arrested her.” He explained, sounding tired like he had been through this more than once.
“Dealing. Her and James have done it to make money on and off over the last 5 years. I guess the cops have been watching them and got a warrant to search their car and my mom was alone when they did it so they only arrested her.” He explained, sounding tired like he had been through this more than once.
He continued,
“She’s been trying to get a hold of James but can’t so that’s why she called
me, she knows Nathan wouldn’t bail her out, he cut ties with her years ago.”
“How much does she
need?” I asked.
“They set the bail
at $5,000.”
“Wow,” It was all
I could think of saying, all this information just came flooding in and I
wasn’t used to being in these kinds of situations. “What are you going to do?”
“Well I can either send it and leave it at that, go looking for James, or just act like she never called…” He said.
“Well I can either send it and leave it at that, go looking for James, or just act like she never called…” He said.
I really didn’t
think going to look for James was a good idea, the guy seemed like bad news,
and obviously violent after what he did to Matt’s truck. I also didn’t think it
was fair of her to even ask him for the money after the way she’s treated him
over the years.
I didn’t want to
overstep, so I just tried to get a feel for what way he was leaning towards.
“Matt, you
shouldn’t feel guilty for the things they have done, it’s not your
responsibility what they do. But I understand that family is important so just
do what feels right to you.” I said as I linked my hand in his.
“They aren’t
family, family doesn’t treat people this way. Maybe it’s time she actually
faces the consequences of her actions. I’ve always been there to bail them out
and Nathan gets pissed because he knows they think they can just do whatever
they want and I will come to their rescue.” He shook his head, “But I’m sick of
it. She can either hope that James shows up with $5,000 by tomorrow or she can
deal with going to prison. I’m done.” He slouched back into the couch and put
his arm around me.
“Are you sure?” I
asked, feeling he was still tense.
“I am. I need to
do what Nathan did years ago. I’m tired of them trying to control my life. I
want to enjoy the rest of the weekend with you.” He said, looking a lot softer
in the eyes.
I smiled at him
and moved back into him like we were watching the movie before.
He pressed play
and acted like everything was normal but I had a feeling that it wasn’t and
that this was bothering him a lot more than he was saying.
Friday, 9 January 2015
Start of a great weekend
*Author’s Note: Thank you all for your patience, if you didn’t
see, please read my last author’s note. Also, I really appreciate your feedback
and thoughts on the timing. I am going to continue on and slowly catch up as
that’s what most people suggested. This also works well because Life by Aleah
is planning on being up to real time by the end of the month, so it’s best if
we are both on the same timeline. In order to catch up I will be adding in some
bonus posts! Next post will be up by Sunday night! Have a fabulous weekend
readers!!! – S xo*
By the time Friday rolled around, I was feeling way more
myself, and I was also really excited that it was the weekend. I had
deliberately left my laptop at my apartment before leaving for Matt’s so I
could totally unplug and just relax without stressing about school work.
I had offered to pick up Bella on my way over to Matt’s but
Brian insisted that he drop her off since we were already watching her for him.
I had given him Matt’s address and his cell phone just in case he beat me there
or got lost.
I knocked on the door when I got there and Matt answered the
door right away with a big smile on his face. I mirrored his smile as he pulled
me by the waist and kissed me deeply on the lips.“Hello my beautiful girlfriend who’s been a stranger these last few weeks.” Matt said teasingly as he pulled away with a soft smile.
“I know, I’m so sorry it’s been so hectic lately, but I’ve been looking forward to this weekend! No school work, no stress, just us!” I smiled back and pecked him on the lips.
“I’m just buggin ya I know how it goes with school, I’m just
happy you’re here now.” He said and started kissing me again, pushing my back
against the door as it closed.
I started slipping off my clogs as Matt slid his hand up my
jacket and under my sweater.
We were just getting into it when I was startled at a knock
on the other side of the door (and at the same time relieved that it was a
solid door and not one with a window).
“That must be Brian!” I said as I stood back so Matt could
open the door.
He introduced himself to Brian right away and shook his
hand. I was already kneeling on the floor petting Bella. “Are you excited for your weekend?” I asked brightly to Brian.
“Oh yes, it will be nice to get out of town, do something different you know?” He chuckled, “I’m kinda nervous though, it’s like dating all over again, I don’t know how you kids do it.”
Matt put his arm around my shoulders, “Yeah, it’s a tough
game out there. I’m glad I caught me a good one.” He said teasingly as he
nudged me.
I rolled my eyes and laughed.
“Well as much as I’d love to stay and chat I’ve got a long
drive ahead of me. Here is the phone number of the place we are staying at if
you need to call.” He said, handing me a large yellow sticky note with the
information on it. He also handed me a bag with Bella’s food, dish, and one of
her favourite toys. I told Brian we had everything else covered and we already
went over her eating schedule.
“Thanks! Everything will be great, we’re so excited to have
Bella! I hope you and Catherine have a great time!” I said.
“Thank you. And thank you again so much for taking Bell, it
would kill me putting her in a kennel and she loves you. I’ll see you Sunday
evening to pick her up.” He said as he stepped out the front door.
"Sounds good, see ya!” I said.
“Bye! It was nice meeting you!” Matt said as he shook Brian’s
hand again.
“You too, really good to meet you. See you guys Sunday!” He said,
walking down the steps to his truck.
Matt shut the door and I was already showing Bella her
little set up that Matt put together so she knew where the water was and her
bed for the weekend. She didn’t seem out of sorts at all and was already
curiously nosing through the toys Matt had put with her bed.
“She’s a beautiful dog” He said, as we both stood back and
let her sniff around the house.
“Yeah, she really is. And such a kind heart, I seriously
love this dog.” I said back.
Matt laughed, “Are we gunna have a problem when it’s time to
give her back?”
I half-pouted, half-laughed, “Maybe.”
We decided we would take Bella to an off leash dog park
about 15 minutes away and then decide what we were going to do for dinner.
I knew she was great off leash and with other dogs so I
thought she would have fun going to the park. Plus with Brian’s age he didn’t
get the change to take her on longer runs, just short walks around the
neighbourhood.
We stopped at a Starbucks to get coffee for the walk. Well,
I got a coffee and Matt got a white chocolate mocha.
“I don’t know how you drink that, it’s so sweet!” I said as
a wrinkled my nose after trying a sip of his.
He just laughed, “Yeah, they’re sweet but I usually only get
one twice or three times a year, just to have something different.”
When we parked at the dog park there were quite a few other
vehicles there so it must be a fairly popular spot. Bella immediately started
getting antsy when we stopped, but she didn’t do it at Starbucks – it’s like
she knew she was coming out with us this time.
She was wiggling and whining and wagging her tail and it
made me laugh at how excited she was.
“Hang on baby girl, I gotta put your leash on until we are
out of the parking lot” I said to her as I clipped the leash to her bright pink
collar.
We got out and started walking towards the entrance which
had a fence along the side. The whole park wasn’t fenced because it was massive
but the side that ran along the parking lot was fenced.
Once we got in I let her off and watch her take off like the
wind towards a big group of dogs all playing together.
We kept walking and Matt held my hand with his free one. It
was a little chilly out so it was nice to have the warmth.
“So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” I asked casually,
and then immediately regretted it, thinking of his family situation. I would
imagine holidays are a hard time for him since everyone spends it with family.
“Probably just stay in town. I might catch up on some
marking. My brother invited me to go to his new place but they’re not doing a
big dinner until Sunday cuz they’re spending the rest of the weekend with his
wife’s family.”
“Oh, I didn’t know your brother was married!” I said
surprised, not like I should be because he hasn’t talked much more about his
family other than when he explained everything.
He smiled, “Yeah, that’s why I haven’t seen much of him
lately, they just got married in the summer so they’re still in the honeymoon
phase.” He laughed, “Are you going back home for Thanksgiving?” He asked.
“Yep! Kate called and told me she’s going home too! She’s
doing really great in rehab and they think it will be good, her parents will
keep an eye and she’s not going out to any party’s or anything.” I explained.
“That’s great! I’m sure she will love a weekend at home and
to see you.”
I contemplated inviting him home with me but I thought it
was a little too soon to invite him for the whole weekend. Plus, I knew my
brothers would grill him with questions and I didn’t want to put him on the
spot in front of the whole family at Thanksgiving.
“Yeah, it will be nice. A little exhausting with my family
but I love them anyways.” I said smiling.
I could see Bella playing and running around with a Golden
Retriever as we walked closer to the group of dogs.
“If your back Sunday why don’t you come to my brothers with
me? You and his wife Lauren would get along great!” He said.
“Well I will be back early afternoon on Sunday but I wouldn’t
want to impose, you just said you don’t get to see him much…”
“It wouldn’t be imposing at all! Nathan is the type that
loves entertaining big groups, the more the merrier type person. Plus there
will be some of their friends over and they said they invited 2 of their new
neighbours.”
Even though I had just squashed the idea in my head of
inviting him home, I was really excited that he asked me and curious to meet
his brother. (Plus a whole weekend with the entire family is way more intense
than a dinner with just his brother and friends)
I smiled widely, “Okay, I’m convinced, that sounds awesome!”
"Great! I will let him know.” He bent over and kissed me on
the cheek and I blushed.
We continued walking at a slow pace, letting Bella play with
some more dogs before turning around and heading back to the truck.
My stomach grumbled just as we hopped in.
Matt laughed, “Someone’s hungry, I guess we better figure
out dinner!”
I laughed too, “Sorry, my stomach feels the need to inform
everyone when I am starving.”
“Hmm, well we could run to the store and get some stuff to
make at my place or order in? Your choice.” Matt said.
“After the last couple weeks of running around like a
chicken with it’s head cut off I could totally go for a big-totally-unhealthy-going-to-regret-it-later
meal!” I answered.
He laughed again, “Alright let’s head back, start thinking
of where we can order!”
I tried thinking of what I wanted but I couldn’t help but
think of how excited I was for Thanksgiving weekend, seeing my family, friends,
and now getting to meet Matt’s brother! I think it’s going to be interesting…
Tuesday, 6 January 2015
Sorry sorry sorry!
Hi Everyone,
I owe a big apology for not getting the bonus up and for being absent. Long story short, the holidays were extremely stressful and pretty much a nightmare :( I know that I haven't had a steady writing schedule but that's something I really want to improve on. Also, I know I am quite behind time wise and want to catch up so I need your opinion!
To get up to current time would you guys prefer:
- I just jump ahead on my next post (kinda like in One Tree Hill where they jumped a few years, except in this case it's only a few months ;))
- Over the next few posts do a lot of fast tracking
- Continue on and just slowly catch up
- Try to get a few posts up this week/next week and motor on with the story line
Once I get some feedback I will have a post up - this week for sure!
I really appreciate the feedback and it matters, since you are the one's I write for.
Please let me know, and again sorry for being absent lately!
- S xo
I owe a big apology for not getting the bonus up and for being absent. Long story short, the holidays were extremely stressful and pretty much a nightmare :( I know that I haven't had a steady writing schedule but that's something I really want to improve on. Also, I know I am quite behind time wise and want to catch up so I need your opinion!
To get up to current time would you guys prefer:
- I just jump ahead on my next post (kinda like in One Tree Hill where they jumped a few years, except in this case it's only a few months ;))
- Over the next few posts do a lot of fast tracking
- Continue on and just slowly catch up
- Try to get a few posts up this week/next week and motor on with the story line
Once I get some feedback I will have a post up - this week for sure!
I really appreciate the feedback and it matters, since you are the one's I write for.
Please let me know, and again sorry for being absent lately!
- S xo
Thursday, 18 December 2014
Workin' for the weekend
**Author’s Note** Hi Guys!! I’m going to do a bonus post
either BY the weekend or ON the weekend so stay tuned! I am trying to catch up
to real time so I apologize if I jump a week or two ahead like in this post but
I’ve had some requests to get up to real time so it is kind of necessary. Thank
you all for reading and supporting the blog! If there’s anything you want to
see more/less of, feel free to comment and let me know your opinions I
understand this post may not be as exciting but, our lives can’t be full of
drama all the time ;) Xoxo
After spending the day with Matt, I knew I needed to get
back home to get some stuff done for school and study for midterms. He dropped
me off after we had breakfast and I got to work right away.
I was pretty impressed with how much I was able to get done
when I put my mind to it and didn’t allow myself to get distracted by the usual
suspects (I.e Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest…)
My whole week basically went by like that, with me cocooning
myself in either my room or in the library if any of my roomies were home. It
wasn’t that I wanted to be anti-social or anything but I always had a hard time
concentrating and getting things done when there were people around.
Brian had called me to ask if he would be able to switch weekends
and have me take Bella November 14-16 since the place he was taking Catherine
was full the first weekend he tried. I happily obliged since I knew I wasn’t
going to be going anywhere until Thanksgiving.
My weekend and even the following week just flew by and I
basically alternated between studying, going to class, and trying to see Matt
and my friends. The week after Halloween we only hung out once, between both of
our schedules it was so hectic. The weekend wasn’t much better and I was really
starting to feel myself wear thin.
Before I knew it, it was Wednesday of the week I was taking
Bella from Brian and I felt like I could sleep for a week.
I was just walking into the apartment when my phone buzzed
with a text. It was Katelyn asking me to call her when I had a chance. The
minute I read it I pulled up her contact and hit the dial button. After
everything that happened with her, I treated every text and call as an
emergency. I knew I was being paranoid but I couldn’t shake the memory of
seeing her in the hospital.
“Hey!” She answered cheerfully when she picked up.
I internally sighed with relief hearing her sound so good. “Hey
yourself! How’s it going? I tried Face timing you the other night but it wouldn’t
go through” I said as I started putting my things down in my room and
collapsing on the bed.
“Yeah, sorry about that, the Wi-Fi can be really sporadic
here, I think everyone tends to use it at night so it doesn’t work as well with
so many people on the network apparently.” She explained.
“Gotcha, no worries. So how is everything going up there?” I
asked.
“Good, good. I feel a lot better already. My parents have
been by a lot and have been really supportive. Same with Josh. I can’t believe
how good he’s being to me after the way I treated him.” Her voice cracked at
the end of her sentence and I knew it was a soft spot for her.
“I’m glad to hear! Of course Josh will be supportive; he
only wants the best for you. He’s a smart guy, he knows that you weren’t
yourself when you did those things.” I said in a motherly tone, trying to
comfort her.
“I know it’s just I still feel so guilty about what I put
all you guys through,” I could hear her take a big breath, “But, that’s why I’m
here right? They actually say that it’s really common for people to have a hard
time getting over the guilt they feel for the way they treated their families
while under the influence” She explained.
“That makes sense, recovery doesn’t happen overnight.”
“Yah, exactly. I didn’t think this would be such a big part
of it, you know? Making amends, forgiveness. I have it pretty good compared to
some of the women here. A lady whose been here about a month and a half told me
that her family refuses to come and see her or take her calls…”
“Wow, that’s pretty rough, you would think people would be a
bit more forgiving at least she’s doing the right thing and going to treatment
but I guess everyone has a different back story right?” I said.
“Mhmm, when she told me that I suddenly realized just how
lucky I am to have my family and friends in my life. You guys have been so
supportive and forgiving, I just wish I could make it up to everyone.”
“Hey, you’re getting help and back to your old self, that is
making it up! Trust me Kate, don’t worry about us, right now you just need to focus
on you, and getting better. We are all here and love you” I said, now feeling
myself start to well up.
She sniffled. “Thanks Sar-Bear. Oh god, listen to us - so
sappy! This was meant to be a happy phone call, I have good news!”
I was intrigued, “Oh yeah?
“Okay, I know it’s like 2 weeks away but my therapist is
really happy with me and said I’m making great progress. He said that he thinks
it will be good for me to come home for Thanksgiving weekend to spend some time
with my family! Of course, I won’t be going to any party’s or anything, and my
parents will be watching me like a hawk but if you’re home too we can definitely
hang out. I think your like my only friend who they would actually be
comfortable enough with me seeing right now.” She said excitedly.
“That’s great news!! I’m coming home for Thanksgiving so
that will be perfect. And I am totally okay with sitting out on any parties or
get togethers with the high school friends. I just want to lay low and have a
relaxing time” I said, suddenly way more excited for Thanksgiving.
We chatted some more before saying goodbye. I was so happy
to hear from Kate and she sounded really good. I must have fallen asleep on my
bed after talking on the phone because I woke up to a dark room.
I looked at my phone and saw it was almost 8.
Holy crap a 3 hour
nap? I thought., That should make it
nearly impossible to fall asleep tonight.
Matt had sent me 2 texts while I was napping. I opened up
our chat and immediately smiled at what he sent me.
It was a picture of the corner of his bedroom – he had put
together a big dog bed made with 2 King sized comforters and bought some dog
toys.
Below the picture he had written, Can’t wait till the weekend! Me you and Bella are gunna have a blast ;)
I beamed just thinking of our weekend together and how he
seemed just as excited.
I replied, I can’t
wait too! I’ve barely seen you the last 2 weeks, it’ll be nice spending some
time just the two of us. Well the two of us and a four legged weekend visitor
:)
Shortly after, I heard the door open and walked into the
hallway to see who it was.
“Hey girlllll!” Maddie said as she came in and set her purse
down.
“Hey!” I said trying to match her enthusiasm, but letting a
yawn escape.
She looked at me and giggled, “Easy there grandma it’s like
8 o’clock, where you sleeping?” She asked.
I narrowed my eyes at her jokingly, “I may or may not have
dozed off for a few hours” I replied, while walking into the kitchen.
I had forgotten all about dinner but my stomach was angrily reminding
me that I needed food. I couldn’t be bothered to make anything real so I
grabbed a Mr. Noodles out of the cupboard and turned the kettle on.
Maddi just laughed at my response and said, “Seriously Sar,
you gotta take it easy. I know it’s midterm time and everything but it’s not
going to help if you are draining yourself day in and day out.”
I nodded as I yawned again, I knew she was right. “Yeah I
know, just 2 more days then the weekend. It’ll be relaxing to stay at Matt’s
place all weekend with Bella.”
She squealed, “Oh ya! That’s right, you’re watching that guy’s
dog. You have to bring her over at some point over the weekend. I’ll make sure
Gavin isn’t with me he’s allergic” She said.
I laughed, “Okay I will try and get her over here at some
point. Or you can always come and see her I don’t think we have too much
planned.”
“Deal!” She said with a big smile on her face.
Maddie sat and watched TV with me while I ate quickly and
then took off to her room for the night.
Once I was finished and had found myself feeling like I was
going to fall asleep again, I dragged myself off the couch and into the shower.
I let the hot water pour over me for a good 20 minutes and
then got dressed for bed.
I always found that a long hot shower or bath and pajamas
was one of the best ways to unwind. I could literally feel my muscles loosen and my mind relax a little bit. I didn't have anything in particular to be stressed or worked up about but with school being so busy right now, I was always worried that I was forgetting something.
Once in bed, I quickly sent Matt a goodnight text letting
him know I was going to sleep and would talk to him in the morning.
I plugged my charger into my phone and lay my head back,
allowing my heavy eyes to close. I knew I needed a long sleep, and despite my
long nap, I was able to nod off in a matter of minutes.
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