E.R

At almost midnight, I pulled up to the hospital Josh had given me directions to. He had told me on the phone that Katelyn’s friend found her passed out in her room and called an ambulance and they rushed her to the E.R.

She was awake but groggy, Josh had said when I called saying I was 5 minutes away and gave me the room she was in.

I ran in with my heart pounding and make up stained tears all down my face.

She was asleep when I got in and Josh was sitting on the couch, along with a girl I had never met. He looked like he had been up all night – his eyes were completely bloodshot, heavy bags under his eyes and his face was blotchy.

I gave him a hug and immediately started bawling my eyes out.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “She’s going to be okay.”

Just then a doctor walked in with her chart in her hand.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Fantini, it looks like your friend here had a severe allergic reaction to methamphetamine.” She said while still looking down at the chart.

“As in.. meth?!” I asked, shocked.

I knew things were bad, but meth? I should have come sooner, the minute I knew something was wrong. My stomach was twisted in a knot and I felt like I was going to throw up.

“Yes, she didn’t have the quantity in her to have me concerned of an overdose but the allergic reaction she had could have killed her if no one found her.”

The other girl in the room started crying loudly and Josh walked over to comfort her.

Dr. Fantini turned to me and pulled me aside slightly, “Do you know if this is a frequent thing for Katelyn? We usually only see this severe of an allergic reaction with a first time user.”

I was still crying but tried to talk anyways, “Well, um, I dunno really what’s been going on…I go to school at U of N so we don’t see each other a lot” I sniffed, “But her boyfriend told me she has been having some issues with drugs after I noticed her acting weird when she visited me. And a friend of mine thought she saw her buying something off someone at this bar we were at” I said and started sobbing more.

I know Josh said she would be okay but seeing her lying in a hospital bed like that, and knowing I should have done something sooner, I just couldn’t handle my emotions.

“Look, often times an addict’s family and friends have no idea how far down they really are until something like this happens. You can’t blame yourself. Katelyn made the decision to use drugs, all you can do it try and make her realize she needs help.” Dr. Fantini said as she touched my shoulder to comfort me.

“I’m going to go and get you some pamphlets of a few different places that could help Katelyn. There are some really great facilities that are geared towards young women like her.”

“Thank you” I said as I sniffled again.

Dr. Fantini left the room and Josh was still trying to comfort the other girl, I assumed the friend who had found Kate. She was still sleeping so I stepped outside to answer some messages. I had sent a group text to the girls letting them know where I was and I had heard it go off a number of times on my drive up so I didn’t want them worrying.

Maddie: OMG!! Sarah are you okay? Is Katelyn okay?!

Aleah: Are you serious? I’m so sorry, what can I do? I can come up there, just let me know where you are I can get in my car right away!

2 missed calls from Elena

Elena: Are you okay?! Oh my god is Katelyn okay what happened?!

Aleah: Sarah, what hospital are you at I’m coming to meet you.

I called Aleah since I knew her and Maddie would be up together. I explained everything and told them that they didn’t need to come up here, I was okay – just shaken up, and Katelyn would be okay. They both still insisted on coming up but I told them it was way too late and I would probably stay a few days and I know they both had crazy busy schedules and couldn’t ask that of them.

Before saying goodbye I thanked them, and told them I loved them for being so sweet.

I made a similar quick call to Elena before a nurse scolded me for being on my phone, so I slipped back into the room.

When I got in Katelyn was awake and her and Josh looked like they had been arguing.

The second I saw her awake, I felt this burst of anger inside of me that I couldn’t control, it just came out like an explosion. Like I said, I just couldn’t handle my emotions.

I walked over to the bed, fuming and crying again. She looked frightened of me. “Jesus Christ Katelyn, METH!?! What the hell are you doing?! You had us all scared to death! YOU COULD HAVE DIED! Do you even get that? If no found you, you would have DIED!”

I know it was childish the way I reacted but I couldn’t control it.

She was red faced and crying “I’m – so- sorry” she tried to blurt out in between cry’s. “ I didn’t know, I honestly didn’t know. Some guy at this party asked if I wanted to do a line so we went up to the bathroom and did a couple bumps. I felt really dizzy and he just smirked and told me I was going to have the best high of my life”

She looked down at her hands and started crying harder. “ I just thought it was coke!  He told me afterwards that it was cut with meth. I would have never done it if I had known..”

Josh stood up “And you think COKE is any better? Do you not see what you’re doing to yourself?! You have a problem Katie. This isn’t just going out and having a good time at a party. Your taking fucking heavy drugs with a complete stranger!”

Although he was yelling, I could tell he was more upset and worried than anything. His face was full of concern and his hands were shaking.

“Okay enough of the ganging up on Katelyn party! I’m not an addict!” She shouted back, now looking on the defensive. “Yeah so what, I’ve done the odd line of coke at a party it’s not like I went seeking out meth. I would never do that shit!”

I felt my anger bubble up again, but before I could say anything, the other girl stood up and ran to Katelyn’s side and started hugging her.

“How can you two yell at her right now?! Have some sympathy” She looked at Josh and I like we were monsters.

“Okay, I don’t know who you are but Katelyn is my best friend, and all I care about is her well-being, she needs a wake up call! And obviously needs to stay away from people like you who are going to enable her problem!” I shouted at the girl.

Thankfully Josh intervened, “Jozie, why don’t you go and let your other friends know Katie’s fine, ok? I think Sarah and I should talk to her alone.” He said calmly. Josh was the type who rarely got angry, and even when he did, it faded quickly.

She looked down at Katelyn who looked at me and Josh, and almost looked ashamed for a moment. “I’ll be fine” she said to Jozie, who got up to leave, but not without narrowing her eyes and shooting me a dirty look.

I took a deep breath and mentally reminded myself that this was not my best friend. She was not herself, but she needed us and she needed help. I was not going to let her ruin her life with something like this.

I sat on her bed and took her hand. I could feel it was shaking.

“Kate, you need help. Josh is right – this is way beyond being a “party girl” or just going out and having fun. This is scary shit. And your not yourself, I wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t seriously worried.”

“I know” she started bawling. “I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what I’m doing. I haven’t felt like myself in so long. I’m so sorry.” She sniffled and I hugged her hard, the two of us crying.

Josh was sitting on the chair beside her bed, holding her hand.

“Your doctor said she would tell us about some places you can get help. You have to tell me you will go. You have to. You have to promise me you will go Katie.” Josh begged to her.

Dr. Fantini must have had the same conversation with Josh. I was glad he said it because I was at a complete loss with this. It was way over my head and knew she needed professional help.

She sighed, looked down at her hands again and nodded, “Okay, your right. I know your right.” She sobbed, “I’m so sorry I did this to you guys” She said as she embraced us both in a hug.